How To Stay Safe At Night II

I recently posted the first part of my guide to staying safe. It’s a subject I think is important and not addressed all that often but after living in a busy city for 8 years I’ve picked up a few tips along the way to stay safe. Find part one here or read on for part two!

TRAIN YOUR INNER NINJA

I took martial arts and self-defence classes as a teen and both have helped me enormously. At the very least try and train yourself for the areas that do the most the damage. Attack the face and groin, other key areas are kneecaps, elbows and neck. Learn some basic self-defence moves if you can; obviously we can’t all be Jackie Chan but a basic awareness of where and how to fight is always useful.

Know the strongest areas of your body; biting, clawing (if you’ve got fake nails), head butting, elbowing and kneeing are all strong points. Kicking is a bad idea unless you know what you’re doing; if the opponent grabs your leg you’re screwed!

GET A BOY TO WALK YOU HOME

The more the merrier, as far as I’m concerned (wahey). Nobody mugs a group of 5 people unless they’re an organised crime syndicate or in a gang war. Even having one boy to walk alongside is a huge deterrent – recorded attacks on pairs of females are way higher than pairs of mixed gender. Ask nearby male friends if they can walk you home. Most of my friends lived in the same 10 minute radius during university so it was like a walking taxibus getting everybody home safely! I’ve actually left parties early on occasion if it means I can go home with my 3 male housemates, rather than risk it by myself.

KNOW YOUR OPPONENT

Your average criminal isn’t a psychotic mastermind or a hardened member of the of the Mafia with 20 assassins on speed-dial. It’s likely a teenager or somebody in their early twenties who is desperately chancing it for the chance to get some cash. They’re likely to be just as scared as you. Try to size them up; if they’re not wearing gloves, they’re unlikely to be using weapons. Do they have knuckle-dusters? Huge coats or sports jackets? I’m lucky to have only experienced petty crime; young kids trying to mug a phone and some dosh. I am sure if the attack had been more calculated I would have been screwed.

During my group attack (there were 4) I had a mental moment where I was screaming in the face of this guy in a trackie, and he looked at me in a really shocked way which is when I knew I had a chance of safety.

BE LOUD

So you’re wearing stupid ballet flats and a cardigan, carrying a bag, you’re by yourself and you’re nowhere near a house. Well done for ignoring all my advice! I was 20 and in this situation (stupidly, as I knew better), and when I got off the bus alone I saw 4 boys waiting at the bus stop. I was at least a) alert and b) knowing my opponents. My first thought was “they’re going to get me” and I was right, after the bus had left I turned around; they’d formed into a line and were moving very close.

I immediately realised I could no way outrun them or fight them off – there were 4 of them and they were all taller than me and wearing sports clothes. I was pissed off and also terrified. I worked out my nearest safe point was the row of houses about 450m away: too far to run. I dug my heels into the ground, clenched my bag into me and started making the loudest, highest sound I could. I’m a soprano with a pretty formidable range (if I do say so myself) so it was pretty bloody loud.

There was some grabbing, some dragging on the floor, some shouting, but I didn’t let go of my bag and as soon as I saw the startled look in one of their eyes I realised I was winning; they weren’t expecting a fight. A car finally drove up and two of them ran off. Unbelievably the car saw me being dragged on the floor by two guys, and drove off again (screw you, crappy member of public). Thank God the second car that turned up stopped and got out to see what was going on. The other two boys scarpered, the incredible guy inside said he’d heard the screams and driven over. I had a weirdly dazed half-hour and then I was totally fine. Thank you, voice!

FINALLY: THIS IS NOT THE END OF YOU

So the worst has happened and you’ve been the victim of a crime. So have I! This is not the end of you. After the above incident the police offered counselling should I need it; I actually felt fine but if you are bothered by stuff like crime then take them up on this valuable service. I’ve met people who have been mugged and then not left the house for two months, people whose phone got nicked who no longer stay out after dark and so on. No!

Don’t let this get you down. It’s fine, really, it’s part and parcel of living in London or any big city. You are not your scars. You are not your dangers. You are not your worst experiences. Yes, maybe it will happen again; you’ll be better-prepared. Make sure you tell the police, warn your friends and try to just accept bad luck and move on. Our society has a lot of flaws and whilst I certainly don’t support crime, I do think it’s easy to see the reasons for it, and to acknowledge that those reasons aren’t going to change overnight. It may seem defeatist but I think the best way to counter it is to be prepared.

If you think I’ve left any tips out, please share them below, and if you missed my first post: catch it here.

 

Hiroshima, Sadako and the Peace Museum

I was unsure of whether to post about my brief time in Hiroshima, because obviously the events that occurred there were so devastating and so upsetting. In many ways, there’s nothing further to observe. But I left feeling like my time in Hiroshima (and Japan) was so important to me, so I’ve decided to share a few of my pictures and my thoughts. I hope you find it interesting and if not – I’ll be back to pretty dresses and sakura in the next post.

We spent most of our morning at the Peace Museum, which contains artefacts left by the bomb (of which there were very, very few) and informative displays about the science of the atomic bomb, the events leading up to and after, the medical, biological and political effects of the bomb, and lastly, an opportunity to sign an international treaty calling to an end for nuclear weapons.

*Highlight to read – some of the stories in the next paragraph you may find distressing* Some of the exhibits that have stuck in my memory particularly include the burnt school-dress of a 13 year old victim – she had sewn the dress herself, and her embroidery was still visible on the collar; a metal lunchbox found by a mother with her dead child’s uneaten lunch still intact; and a cap belonging to a boy which had some of his hair fused into the fabric from the heat of the bomb. His mother kept the cap to show his father, who was away at the time fighting in the war. There was a set of cups fused together by the intense heat – found by a man who returned home to find his entire village destroyed. The nearest he could find to a personal belonging was a set of fused cups he recognised as belonging to a cafe nearby. And there was a heartbreaking story of a wife who found her husbands skeleton, completely stripped bare, sat at his desk and holding a pen.

Due to the unprecedented nature of the atomic bomb, nobody knew what the long-term effects were. Many children who were seemingly unharmed by the bomb in neighbouring villages grew up to have fertility problems, seemingly random cancers and tumours, or degenerative diseases. Medical anomalies continued to appear for the hibakusha up to 65 years after the bomb dropped. I can’t think of any other disaster that has caused repercussions for that length of time – it is insane. As the museum explained, people were forced to live their lives in fear from the moment the bomb dropped, not knowing when or what might affect them. How can you rebuild your life under a shadow like that?

The story of Sadako Sasaki was highlighted. Sadako was a healthy 2 year old who survived the bomb in a nearby village, developed an aggressive cancer aged 12 and tried to fight it by folding a thousand paper cranes (an ancient Japanese legend that if you fold 1000 cranes your wish will come true). The museum had some of her cranes on display, and heartbreakingly, some of the squares she had folded but not completed into cranes by the time she died.

Sadako became an international symbol for the innocent children whose lives were affected by the bomb and to this day people fold cranes and bring them to the peace museum. A statue of Sadako features in the Peace Garden, surrounded by boxed displays- it was incredibly moving to see large pictures that had been created from thousands of tiny folded cranes.

I left feeling completely desolate – I wish I could console myself but the fact is there are so many countries with fighting and tragedy on a similar scale every day, and it’s hard to know how to fix it. Upon reflection, I think what struck me most at Hiroshima, beyond the sheer horror and tragedy, was the total and complete decimation of the city and everything in it. It was impossible to rebuild when there was literally nothing left – any history, culture or stories attached to the town were wiped out in a nano-second. The Hiroshima we saw (outside of the central Peace Garden) could have been anywhere. It was like an eerie cut and paste city – pleasant and functionable enough, but devoid of history, of culture. Everything was completely standard. I can’t really explain but I’ve never been somewhere that felt so utterly far from history. And I think that to me is the huge tragedy that colours all of the personal ones – the irretrievable loss of an entire community.

Cité des Sciences & de l’Industrie

…but what do you have in your head?

Welcome to an outfit post from the largest science museum in Europe! We went to Paris solely for one piece at this museum. Quite the pilgrimage! Reaching that article was one of the most incredible moments of my life – I started a more specific post but couldn’t articulate the experience adequately, so for the first time ever have been unable to finish a post! This tells you how momentous it was as I am very rarely lost for words.

All of the European museums I have encountered include interactive exhibits which blend virtual reality, puzzles and film alongside traditional displays. It makes for a nice change as many of our UK exhibitions seem to be more object-driven. Highlights included Jeux de Lumiere, a hall of light, vision and optical illusions; the planetarium; the submarine; L’homme et les genes, an exhibition on humans and genetics and my personal favourite C3RV34U, a comprehensive “neuroplay” exhibition about the brain (my top science interest).

Most beautiful of all was the light room. It was so peaceful dancing around in the soft pools of pastel rainbows on the floor, lights gently changing colour. Museums give me such a safe, happy feeling; surrounded by knowledge, learning and research, inspired to think, analyse, and create.

Dress – ModCloth, gift. Bag – €12, flea market in Barcelona. Bunny shoes – £45 (sale), Irregular Choice. Kimono – £35, Topshop, gift.

Mini-guide: Cardiff

I’ve only been to Cardiff a handful of times but I thought I’d create this little guide of our favourite shops and cafes I discovered on my most recent visit there. We spent our days in Cardiff shopping for vintage clothes, admiring the adorable arcades and eating wonderful food. I highly recommend a trip to Cardiff if you can get there; it’s beautiful!

Be warned, there are a lot of photos in this post – everything was so pretty I just wanted to document it all! I’ve written about the place underneath the photos and I’ve put links in all the headings if you want to find out more.

VINTAGE ZIZOU

(16 Crown Arcade, CF10 1BU)

Vintage Zizou is a clothes and accessories shop for women; for a relatively small premises they have a very varied stock with vintage and contemporary clothes, bags, jewellery, vintage accessories and some gorgeous bridal wear. My friends were quick to drag me away from the wedding dresses before I could spend another half an hour dressed in tulle. Prices were fairly reasonable; I got a beautiful costume jewellery for £6 and one of my friends took home a stunning sequinned top for £25 which was in mint condition.

TROUTMARK BOOKS

(39-43 Castle Arcade)

Troutmark Books is an absolute must-visit if you’re a bookworm like I am. The shop appears deceptively small from outside but once you get set foot inside you’re confronted with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. The shop spans 3 floors and has a huge selection of genres available. The shop owner is very friendly and we spent a long time poring over various titles in this shop. Being the kid I am, I especially loved these old children’s books with beautifully coloured spines and the impressive comics collection.

SOPHIE’S

(16 High Street Arcade)

There are a huge number of cafes around Cardiff and I won’t lie, we chose to go in to Sophie’s purely because we had a Sophie in our group. Sophie’s specialise in crepes and galettes and although there were no vegan options listed they were happy to accommodate and create something new for me. Again this cafe was deceptively small; however downstairs there was a spacious seating area where we occupied the sofa for a good hour or so.

HUBBARD’S CUPBOARD

(35 Castle Arcade)

This shop was so beautiful! Light, airy and very well-presented; we spent a long time in here as it was also one of the first places we found with a decent mens section. The shop was split into two sections; vintage on one side (with a great selection of dresses ranging from medium to high prices) and crafts, stationary and wedding bits and pieces on the other side, all laid out impeccably. I’d recommend this shop to seasoned vintage shoppers or crafty people with an interest in aesthetically pleasing displays!

BARKER TEA HOUSE

(High Street Arcade)

I’m genuinely upset I don’t live closer to this place as I have been telling everybody about Barker Tea House since I got back to London. I am a prolific tea drinker and the mate infused with mint that I tried at Barker Tea House was exquisite! This was the last “meal” we had in Cardiff; the mini afternoon tea for one came with scones and chocolate brownies that were extremely rich and shared between three people we had more than enough. The upstairs area has a lovely interior which kind of reminded me of an updated country house or old-school british library; I loved the floral tiles that were used as accents and the stripped wood everywhere. I can imagine whiling away a lot of afternoons chatting with friends in this place. (Side note: doesn’t Danilo look like an advert for beards?)

HOBO’S VINTAGE

(26 High Street Arcade)

Cardiff is well-known as a vintage destination and I don’t know if Hobos is the oldest vintage shop there but it certainly seems to be one of the most iconic. The stock isn’t hugely varied, instead focusing more on popular vintage items (such as silk blouses and varsity jackets). You’re unlikely to stumble across a sequinned ballgown but the items they are all in excellent condition and available in a good selection of colours and prints. For people who take a more streamlined approach to vintage shopping or those who have a more classic style I’d recommend Hobos. They also had a great selection of upcycled vintage items and retro inspired clothes (including the Northern Soul dress I wore in this post!).

COFFEE BARKER

(13 Castle Arcade)

On my previous trip to Cardiff with James we had an idyllic meal here; I can’t remember what I ordered but I can remember both James and I talking about how great the food was on the train home. Another gorgeous cafe where I could happily spend a few hours if there weren’t so many other things to go and see! The interior has a kind of New York coffee bar feel to it, with squishy brown sofas and lots of cute metal signs.

GARLANDS

 (4 Duke Street Arcade)

A couple of locals recommended their Garlands so we headed there on our final (hungover) morning. The vegetarian/vegan breakfast was so filling and although quite a small and busy place the staff let us sit around for a while which made us feel very at home. Prices were great and the plates were so large it was really good value for money. I also recommend their juice; it was amazing!

CLAIRE GROVE BUTTONS

(45 Castle Arcade)

This shop was about to close by the time we got there but a quick look around confirmed that they have a HUGE selection of buttons and beads from all over the world. The shop has been there for over 30 years and they also have a selection of quirky cards and prints. If there was a specific button or bead you were after I imagine you’d be able to find it here but it’s a great place just to browse as well – the shop is quite small but beautifully laid out.

CARDIFF FASHION QUARTER

(Womanby Street)

Cardiff Fashion Quarter is almost a miniature shopping mall of independent traders selling a combination of vintage and contemporary clothes, books, jewellery and furniture. It’s based inside a converted cinema and is spread across two floors. Some of our favourite shops were Rhinestone Cowboy, Nelly’s Treasures, Rock-Ola Reborn, Bada Peng and Freak Unique Boutique. The whole space was beautifully decorated with fairy lights, bunting, paper flowers and pretty wallpapers covering the space and each stall had cute displays, we spent such a long time just wandering around and browsing all the cute retro toys!

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Other places I would recommend based on my previous visits to Cardiff:

Chapter Arts

One of my favourite arts centres with a really good programme of events, also the cafe is absolutely amazing!

Spillers Records

Obviously I collect records so I’m always biased towards record shops anyway but even if you’re not a vinyl owner this shop is worth a visit anyway – it’s the oldest record shop in the world.

Natural History Museum of St Fagans

The Gate Arts Centre

Bute Park

 

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So there we go, a few of my suggestions for Cardiff! I’ve not really written any city guides like this before so let me know if it’s useful or if you’d like to see more. If you have any favourite places in Cardiff pop them in the comments so other people can go there too!

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