This is part of a new series I’m calling LEIA: Laila Explains It All. I’ll explain at the end!!!
Today on the blog I’m going to get a bit more personal. I’m going to talk frankly about a side of my life that I rarely discuss in public: my love life. I often find myself in conversations with friends who are unhappy being single. They feel that being single is a struggle, a stigma, something to obsess over or something scary. I’ve kind of assumed the role of “advisor” in my friendship group because I have been single for a very long time and navigated a lot of scenarios that being single tends to throw up; dating, flings, one night stands and the like. They miss being in a relationship, they can’t find “the one”, they imagine they’re unlovable, or they’re anxious about joining the dating “game”.
I have genuinely never felt like that. People don’t believe me but it’s true, really! I LOVE being single. I am probably the archetypal single girl – I’m a ‘Samantha’ in that I love dating. I love the chase, the guessing games, the first dates, the planning, the getting-ready, the gossiping with your friends after, the updates, the late-night chats, the mutual discoveries, the working out how you feel. I love moving on and finding something new and dashing off to the next prospect.
As a teenager, there was a lot of pressure to be in a relationship, but these days, I have a great life in which I devote myself wholeheartedly to things I love. I have the absolute best friends in the world, my dream job, a wonderful house and housemates in North London. I’ve never bothered to think too much about finding anybody to share it with, because I already do share everything with my wonderful friends (who are basically family to me). I’ve never defined myself by my relationship status; and therefore, nobody else has either.
I care deeply about my life and getting the most out of it. I want a life that’s brimming with anecdotes, filled with adventures, and never-ending nights out. Dating and relationships are a fun hobby. A sport alongside a life filled with things I actually care about and want to devote my time too: my friends, my career, my beliefs. Who knows if there’s a Mr Right or a soulmate out there somewhere? I never, ever ponder these things – there’s any number of people I could get on with in the meantime and if somebody turns up, great, if nobody does, who cares? I can’t imagine anything more boring or alarming than by defining myself by my relationship status. I won’t be pranging out on a Friday night in sobbing into my Netflix account – I’ll be down the pub with my mates, or at the back writing songs about my idols, or planning my next holiday abroad.
In fact, I struggle to think about what a relationship could provide that I do not have already. I have self-worth, I have value, I have companionship, I have excitement, I have a life filled with happiness and days out and nice things and there’s not a lot else I really want. I have a lot, basically. I don’t need anybody to provide me with those things, because I found them for myself. Being single gives me a life where I put myself first, where I can spend all my time and energy making this little patch of the world exactly where I want to be – and that’s why I love being single.
This is part of a new series I’m calling LEIA: Laila Explains It All. I seem to have a fairly unique view amongst my pals on this kind of personal stuff – which I’d quite like to share, if it’s not too egotistical! Let me know what you’d like to see – stories of dating, advice, relationship probs or whatever :)