On Summer

 In my teenage years, summer was a holiday of almost mythic proportions. I made huge lists of things I would do, places I would go, skills I would learn. The days and weeks of summer spread out endlessly; it felt like years of freedom before returning to the confines of school. In university, summer lasted so long it was like a second life; entire groups of friends I only saw during summer; enough time to spend 6 weeks living somewhere else; courses abroad; holidays with friends; the inevitable trip back home; trips around the country to see where everybody grew up. Summer had it’s own soundtrack, it’s own menu (Pimms and burritos), it’s own unique rhythms and structures. Time was different, you could spend a week invested in one thing and it felt like a year, you would go out every day of the week and rest on Saturday.

Last summer was the first one I was really working. Even on my holidays to Egypt and America I was working round the clock, grabbing wi-fi where I could. I came back and went straight back into work, going out where I could, on Fridays and the odd morning off. Summer stretched on until October, but in a vague, disconnected way. I was aware of summer happening but I wasn’t really partaking in the same way: I didn’t go to Glastonbury, I didn’t spend the month working in Edinburgh, I didn’t spend hours lazing around my parents house listening to music with a hangover.

This year summer has sprung out of nowhere; it was 2015, I was working, I went on tour and then BAM. I’ve come home and it’s summer. This is the first summer since I was about 14 where I don’t have any real plans and everything feels a bit aimless. I’m a bit nonplussed about this summer – I’ve been ill for about a week, I don’t have any real plans (for work or holiday) and things always feel a bit sketchy when I’ve not confirmed a proper income over the summer, traditionally a rubbish time for private teachers like myself. I’ve also been thinking a lot about leaving London, so I’m going to treat this summer like it’s my last one in London. I have no big bold plans, I’ll just try and make the most out of each week and see what happens. And work hard. And say yes. And get involved. Those three always serve me well.

P.S. Does anybody watch Orange Is The New Black? Let’s discuss Series 3!!

Laila Lately

Hello! A lot of things have happened which have rendered me unable to post. They’re not altogether good things so here’s a quick update…

– My laptop has died! I’m floundering a lot with work as nothing is backed up! I’m particularly upset at the idea of losing my Japan photos and videos (So soon! So cruel!) and my business plans and year overviews. Cross your fingers that the genius people from Apple will be able to salvage my files :(

– I have an eye injury! I’m back to wearing glasses full time which I HATE – movement is restricted, the frames are heavy on my face, vision is compromised everytime the glass gets dirty (a lot) and I get headaches.

– I’m in full rehearsal for A Strange Wild Song! I wrote all the music for this show a few years back and we have toured it 4 times before (long time readers may remember the previous two tours). The rehearsals are fun but knackering. I’m averaging about 5 hours sleep…

– We are going on tour the week after next! I love touring but right now it’s more of a logistical nightmare as I’m trying to reschedule all my normal work around being away. I’m excited to actually get on the road!

If that all sounds pretty negative than I guess it is – I’m very tired at the moment, struggling to work effectively and frustrated by having glasses full time. Here are the positives:

– One of our housemates recently moved out. They’d turned out to have a lot of issues and been causing a lot of friction within the house and a sense of relief has come over all of us still there. Never underestimate having a happy living situation!

– I’ve hired a PA! I cannot believe I didn’t get one sooner, it has revolutionised my productivity. Even in this very exhausted and timeless space I’m currently inhabiting.

– I went to Japan! It feels like a lifetime ago, I have so much I wanted to share and if it’s not all been lost then I will spread the Japanese joy on this blog soon.

 

Anyway. So that’s me. What have you been up to?

 

Hello!

Hello! I just wanted to say thank you to those of you still here and still reading and thank you so much to those of you who have reached out to me over the last couple posts. The last few weeks have been pretty difficult for me; if you’ve not been following my oldest and best friend died completely unexpectedly at the beginning of November. I was very grateful to have this place to sum up everything that was going on.

I’m naturally a very fast-moving, happy, optimistic kind of girl and I’m not used to dealing with sadness; it doesn’t fit me and sits awkwardly on my frame. Writing helped. I’ve lost a few readers from my sprawling emotional posts but I’m very grateful that so many of you did take the time to read and have stuck around, so thank you, it means a lot.

In other news, I can’t believe it’s December already! December is a weird month; I think every single year my gut instinct is to burn out, party and sleep. There’s that weird “must cram in everything before New Years” coupled with “it’s nearly Christmas, throw caution to the wind!”. This December I say goodbye to my lovely office, I’m going on holiday (twice), I’m planning out the whole of 2015, I’m clearing out my family home and I’m partying a lot with my wonderful friends. It’s going to be good, or at least, it’s going to happen, and I’m going to try my hardest for it to be good. Take that, December! How is your December going?